Chapter 86

"What's got you guys so sneaky and whispering?" David asked when they got back to the hotel. "You guys better not be trying to upstage Daniel's birthday party." He said sternly even though he was sure they weren't.
"That's all in your hands." Richie assured him as the four of them headed to the elevator down the hallway.
"Then what's with the whispering?" David asked again, more seriously.

The questioning made Richie uncomfortable, he hadn't told anyone but Jon that Sarah had been pregnant again. It had been so early on he wasn't supposed to say anything to anyone but he couldn't keep it from Jon. He never could. How could he even explain it the David and Tico now?

"Maybe it's none of your business." Jon said when he noticed Richie's behaviour after they got into the elevator. "Or perhaps we are just planning a perfect time for you to babysit Daniel while we go live it up." He pressed the button for their floor as the doors closed.
David shrugged. "Fine by me. I probably like that little dude more than you guys anyway."
"Wow that's hurtful." Jon tried his best to try and sound offended.
"The little dude is literally a part of me." Richie argued as well.
David scoffed. "You think he's like you just because he's got your eyes, hair, love of guitar and like 50 percent of your DNA?"
"Kinda yeah."
David shook his head. "So full of yourself."
"Oh fuck off." Richie told him, glad when the elevator arrived to their floor and their conversation had taken a slight turn away from their earlier subject.
"Why don't you just let them be?" Tico asked David as he stepped out of the elevator before the others.
"Because they were being secretive and whispering about something." David reminded him.
Tico started heading down the hallway as the others followed him. "Maybe they're planning a way to shut you up?"
David laughed out loud. "Impossible!"

They reached the end of the hallway where their rooms were next door to each others. Two on each side of the hallway.

"Hey Richie." Jon said, watching David open his door but stop as he heard Jon call.
"What?" Richie asked him, confused when Jon walked back to him and whispered.
"Nothing, just messing with Dave." He leaned in as he whispered, his eyes locked on David who was watching them closely.
Tico shook his head at their antics and closed his door behind him.
Richie smiled to himself, then looked over his shoulder at David for a second before whispering back. "You're going to piss him off." Richie said but he knew what Jon was doing. "But thanks."
Jon padded him on the back and walked back to his room, looking back at David again who narrowed his eyes at him. "I'm watching you." David said along with the handgestures.

When he walked into the hotel room, everything was exactly how he had left it six hours ago. He kicked off his shoes by the door and walked to the sitting area. The side lamp by the couch was still on, he dropped his bag on the chair next to him. The curtains in the room were still wide open, not that it mattered on this floor and he was too tired to be all that bothered. He noticed the light in the bathroom was still on and went to turn it off. As he walked by the crib in the room, he noticed it was empty which must mean Daniel was still in bed with Sarah. Once by the bathroom he forgoed his original plan and quickly used the bathroom before looking in the mirror he didn't feel as sweaty and gross as he had when he left the stage but he still needed to change out of these stage clothes. With Sarah and Daniel asleep, he didn't want to be all that noisy in the bedroom and wake Sarah them up just to look for clothes to wear. In the mirror he noticed everything was still exactly as it had been when Sarah finished her bubblebath that morning, towel discarded on the floor that no one had bothered to pick up until now. He hung it on the towelbar and made sure it looked straight. On his way out of the bathroom he made sure to turn the light off this time.

He walked over to the little kitchenette and poured himself a glass of water. He leaned against the counter as he drank it. Noticing the formula powder tin on the counter top, he frowned. It wasn't used, he was sure of it. Daniel always had a bottle of formula before bed to settle down but here stood his bottle, unused. Frowning, he checked the baby food jars they had brought along for him for dinners but none of them had been used. In fact, nothing in the kitchenette had been used. It was all exactly as he left it.

With a sense of urgency, Richie walked over to the bedroom. The room was completely dark by now and he left the door open so he could at least see somewhat in the dark with the light from the main room. Sarah hadn't moved at all on her side of the bed and Daniel laid in the middle. Immediately he recognized the clothes he had dressed Daniel in earlier that morning.

Carefully he picked Daniel up from the bed, lifting him so he could rest his head on Richie's shoulder. His wet diaper was obvious when Richie supported his body with his arm as he carried him out of the room. Quietly, he pulled the door closed behind them and sighed. It'd been a long day.

He felt confused and at a loss.

He picked up the diaper bag from where they had left it on the stroller and moved Daniel to the couch, he noticed brown eyes looking back at him. It made him smile. "Hey buddy. Just going to change you and then it's back to bed for you." He whispered gently eventhough Sarah most likely couldn't hear him.

Richie grabbed a new diaper and started changing his son but as soon as he moved the soiled diaper Daniel started crying. Trying to be quick so he could soothe his son, he lifted his legs to change him into a clean diaper, and Richie found the reason of his son's distress. In frustration, he closed his eyes for a moment and let out a sigh before reaching into the diaper bag to rummage through it and find the diaper rash cream. "I know, I'm sorry buddy." He soothed as he applied the cream and fixed the clean diaper. Not bothering with a pair of clean pants, he lifted Daniel into his arms, hoping to calm him down with some bouncing.

The bouncing did not settle Daniel down at all, and the crying continued. The last thing Richie wanted right now was to wake up Sarah. He stood up and started pacing to try and soothe Daniel but noticed the unused bottle in the kitchenette and put it all together. He'd forgotten about what he had seen earlier in his frustration of Daniel's dirty diaper situation. In a hurry, he grabbed the formula and the bottle, then walked out of his hotel room. Right now was not the time to wake Sarah up. The confusion he had felt was starting to feel like anger.

With Daniel crying, he walked to the room next to him and knocked.

Jon opened the door almost right away, a look of confusion on his face when Richie walked into his room with a red faced Daniel crying loudly. "What happened?"
"He's hungry." Richie said as he walked to the kitchenette. Jon's room was the exact same as his had been. "Can you please help?" He noticed Jon had followed him and passed Daniel over to him so he could free his arm.
"Where's Sarah?" Jon asked confused at what was going on.
Richie shook his head as he filled up the bottle with water and proceeded to scoop formula into it before placing it in the microwave.
Jon carried Daniel over to the couch and tried to calm him down without any success.

The microwave beeped at him and Richie pulled the door open, attached the nipple to the bottle and swirled it as he joined Jon on the couch and picked Daniel up into his lap, letting him take the bottle. With a sigh of relief he leaned back against the back of the couch when Daniel went quiet and started drinking.

"What happened?" Jon asked again after they enjoyed a few moments of quiet.
"I don't know." It all probably hadn't taken more than ten minutes but he felt exhausted.

Richie sat up again and looked around the room. Noticing Jon's stuff scattered around the desk, a glass of wine with the bottle next to it on the coffee table, shoes and socks to the side of the table, the TV set to a newschannel.

"I'm sorry." Richie said, clearly he was interrupting Jon's unwinding time from the concert.
"It's fine." Jon said as he reached for his glass. "As long as you don't mind me."
"It's fine." Richie said, absentmindedly he started stroking Daniel's back, glad he had calmed down now that his belly was being filled.

He thought of what had happened but couldn't understand.

"Thanks little mister." Jon said, making Richie return from his thoughts.

Jon put the empty bottle on the coffee table as Daniel moved in his father's arms and laid down with his little head on his chest. Richie put his arm around his son and stroked his back again, trying to relax him.

It only took Daniel a few minutes to go back to sleep.

"I don't understand." Richie said quietly, voicing his thoughts. "I understand she's sad. I'm sad too but I wouldn't just ignore my son all night and leave him starving and in a dirty diaper."
"Is Sarah okay?" Jon asked.
"I don't know what's going on. She was asleep when I went to move Daniel from our bed to his crib. That's when I noticed his pants were wet and when I changed him he started crying because of the rash hurting and I didn't want Sarah to wake up because-" He ranted but cut himself off.
Jon frowned at him. "Because what?"
"I'm so angry at her." He groaned in frustration. "I don't think I've ever been this angry at her. I don't think I've ever been angry at her at all." Richie groaned again.
"She's having a hard time." Jon reminded him.
"I know but that shouldn't be an excuse to forget about Daniel."
"I know." Jon agreed.
"She's taking this so hard and it hurts so much to see her like this but then this." He looked down at Daniel to make sure he was still sleeping. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel."

Jon got up from the couch and walked to the fridge, carrying his wine glass, he pulled a bottle of water from the fridge door and passed it to Richie as he sat down again to top up his own drink.

"Daniel's okay now, he's sleeping and won't remember a thing. Sarah's sleeping," he paused to wait for Richie to nod his confirmation, "so right now just take your time before you head back there and talk to her when she wakes up."

Richie nodded, there wasn't much else he could do right now. Daniel's immediate needs were taken care off and as far as he knew Sarah was just fine, at least physically. Daniel was comfortable in his arms, leaving Richie with no free hands as he held his son and the bottle of water. Jon's advice seemed fair. Wind down and go to bed. He tapped his cold bottle of water against Jon's arm, making him flinch as he watched the news channel. "Can you open this?"

Chapter 85

"Richie!" Sarah gasped, "It's past four o'clock!"
He checked the time on his watch, she was right but he didn't mind.
"Soundcheck." Sarah clarified. "You'll be late."
Richie waved it off. "Don't worry about it."
She gave him a stern look. "Jon will be angry."
"Don't worry, I talked to him. We've got it all covered. I'll get there a little later."
"Are you sure he won't mind?"
He nodded. "I'm sure. We'll finish up this bus ride and head back to the hotel and then we'll go join them at the arena."
Sarah smiled at him, relieved he wasn't going to get into trouble. "Okay."

He moved a little closer to Sarah on their little bench and put his arm around her waist, holding her closer against him as they watched the views of the city around them.

The tour had lasted longer than they had anticipated but Richie didn't mind, he had already made arrangements for soundcheck and was glad to spend the afternoon with his wife who seemed a little more cheerful as she got to see more of the city of sin. He was relieved to know he was able to put a smile on her face and at least put her mind at ease for a little while. That's what he was there for, take care of her.

The sightseeing bus dropped them off an hour later at the same stop they had entered it. They made the short walk back to the hotel as Richie texted their road manager for a driver to pick them up in about an hour. He didn't want to rush Sarah and thought of having a little bit of downtime with her before heading out to the arena and get ready to work.

He received a text around 6 pm, telling him their driver was waiting outside of the hotel for them.

He'd been watching TV with Daniel as Sarah laid down in the bedroom. Carrying Daniel, he walked over to the bedroom, knocked and pushed the door open quietly. The curtain was drawn and the room was fairly dusk.

"We have to go." He said as he sat down on the bed next to Sarah, he reached a hand out to her.
"I think I'm going to stay here."
It took him aback, he hadn't expected her to change moods again, he could hear it in her voice. "Oh." He knew he sounded disappointed.
"I just want to relax and be alone for a little bit."
He nodded, knowing he had to get going, he didn't have time to convince her otherwise. "Okay." He didn't want to leave her but he knew she would be fine without him too. He just wanted to be there for her. "Do you need anything before I go?" He asked as he moved Daniel to the middle of the bed where he could leave him safely.
"Yeah."
"What's that?"
"A tight hug and a kiss." She sat up and reached in for the kiss she wanted.
He would never deny her a kiss and pulled his close in an embrace as he kissed her.

It tore at his heart when he walked out of the bedroom, leaving her alone for the rest of the evening. It'd be at least six hours before he would be back to console her.

With a sigh he walked out into the hallway. He'd keep his phone on him the whole time, he turned up the sound just in case Sarah needed him. He wouldn't be able to get back to the hotel until after the show but if she needed to talk before then, he would gladly do so.

Not much later he was in his dressing room, making sure everything was good to go. His phone had been plugged in on the side table by his couch to make sure it was within reach and it wouldn't die on him for the rest of the evening.

A knock from the door made him look up. "It's open." For a change, Jon walked into his dressing room. Usually he would find Jon when he needed something.
"Brought you the setlist." Jon handed him the sheet of paper.
"Thanks." Richie took it and looked it over, no surprises tonight. "I'm sorry I missed soundcheck."
Jon waved it off and Richie was glad he let it slide. "Don't worry about it. Where's Sarah and Daniel?"
Richie sighed as he sat down on the couch, he checked his phone. "She wanted to stay at the hotel."
Jon joined him on the couch. "Maybe she didn't want to be around everything going on around here." He suggested.
"Yeah, I guess. She wanted to be alone again. We went out and did some sightseeing, she seemed alright until we got to the hotel again and she wanted to have a quick nap."
"Don't worry too much about it, she'll be alright."
Richie nodded shortly. "I know, it just hurts to see her like that. There's not much I can do to make it better and I like making things better for her."
"I know." Jon agreed, surely he had been in the same position multiple times. "Don't worry. She'll pull through this. Life has it's ups and downs, it's like a roller coaster." He said.
"It definitely ain't a merry go round." Richie agreed.
Jon nodded. "One point you're up so high it's like stars are on your shoulders and the next moment you're going for a thrill ride, it takes you upside down."
Richie nodded in thought. "You should write that down."
Jon looked up at him questioningly. "Yeah?" He pulled his phone out and opened a note to write down what he had just said.
Richie looked over at the note Jon had created on his phone. "Add the merry go round thing I said." He watched Jon type out the words. "Text it to me."
"Sure."
"I like it."
"Yeah, I figured." Jon said. "We're not songwriting right now, let's get food."
"I like food." Richie agreed and reached over to unplug his phone, noticing the text from Jon, he swiped it away.

He had texted Sarah when he got to the arena and he wanted to text her now but understood she was most likely not keeping an eye on her phone as she had not replied to his last text either so he decided to pocket it until showtime when he would text her again.

Chapter 84

"What time do you need to go for sound check?" Sarah asked, looking up at him from his shoulder she was snuggling into.

"We're scheduled to leave at 4 so we have some time." Richie told her but reached for his phone to check the schedule to be certain.

"Okay, I like this."

"Cuddling?" He asked cautiously, not sure of what she meant, perhaps she was enjoying the TV show they were watching, which was alright too.

Sarah nodded against him.

He found the schedule on his phone for confirmation and was correct. Sound check was scheduled for 4.30pm which meant they'd have to leave at 4pm. After that, they'd get ready for the show by 8pm, he wouldn't come back to the hotel so Sarah and Daniel would have to come with him. Which meant he had three hours before they'd have to go to the arena. There'd be enough time.

He frowned in thought, this was time he had planned to sightsee around Las Vegas. Being in a hotel room with Sarah, was making him feel as if they were missing an opportunity for them to explore the city. Sure he'd been here before but he knew Sarah had not and would love to see it all. Although he understood why she wasn't feeling up to doing anything, he wanted to take her out and cheer her up with a sightseeing tour. It'd be an amazing city to go see with her. He had done all the casino and typical Vegas stuff before and knew that Sarah would want to see the sights, the large hotels, the shopping strips, everything.

Thoughtful of what to do next, he opened text messages and sent one out to Jon.

He decided not to tell Sarah of his plan just yet, in case he wasn't able to comfort her and she wanted him to continue with his day the way he had originally planned it. Right now he was happy with her on the couch, Daniel playing on the floor beside them with some cars. Maybe when this show was over, he'd suggest it.

"Want to go for a walk?" Richie suggested, making Sarah look up at him with a question on her face, he knew she didn't want to. "Daniel's bored, let's just go for a walk, we've got his stroller. Get some fresh air." He continued.
Sarah contemplated it for a moment before agreeing. "Okay. I guess we have time for a walk."
"Yeah?" He asked, making sure.
"As long as we're back before 4 to go for soundcheck, right?" Sarah asked, waiting for Richie to nod his response. "We won't walk for long any way." She said, letting go of him and sitting up on the couch. "I'll get Daniel ready."

Not much later they were walking through the hotel lobby with Daniel comfortable in his stroller, a bottle in his cup holder, snacks packed in his diaper bag.

As soon as they walked out of the hotel, the temperature difference struck them. It was much hotter outside than it had been in the temperature controlled hotel. Home wasn't much different from that in the summer either.

The street the hotel was on seemed fairly quiet, there was traffic but not a lot of foot traffic which made it easy for them to walk down the street.

"Do you know where we are going?" Sarah asked him as she followed him down the street, pushing Daniel's stroller.
"Just down the street."
"Yeah, but do you know your way around here or will we get lost?" Sarah clarified for him.
Richie shrugged. "I don't know the streets but I'll be fine orientating where we are and if not, we just use Maps to get us back."

When they rounded the corner the next street was lined with sightseeing tour buses.

"Hey," Surprised, Richie pointed over at the three red buses lined up down the street, "look at those. Let's do a tour."
"A tour?" Sarah asked unsure of it.
"Yes. We'll get to see all of Vegas. It's perfect." It was a happy surprise for him and perfect for his time schedule.
Sarah frowned. "Daniel's stroller though."
"We just store it on the bus."
"It's a lot of sun." She said.
"We'll be fine." Richie continued walking towards the buses as Sarah followed behind him with Daniel.
"I bet they're pricey."
He caught on to what Sarah was trying to do. "I'm sure we'll be fine." He wasn't going to let her miss an opportunity to see the city.
"Yeah, but..."
"Alright," Richie sighed, "enough excuses. It'll be fun and only take like an hour or so." He sounded sterner than he wanted to be but he had to get her on a bus one way or the other. He knew she'd like this, if things were different, he knew she would be on that bus right now.

Sarah finally relented and pushed the stroller behind Richie, following him to the bus.

The bus was fairly empty by the looks of it, making Sarah feel slightly better as Richie could see right away when she looked around. She placed the stroller in the assigned spot and put the brakes on.

"I'll go pay." Richie said as Sarah lifted Daniel out of the stroller. "Find us a good spot upstairs, okay?" He asked and gave her a quick kiss before heading to the driver at the front of the bus to pay for their tour.

He happily pulled out his credit card to pay for the tour, he didn't care for what the price was or how long the drive would take. At least he had gotten Sarah out of the hotel room and he knew she would start enjoying herself in just a few minutes, as soon as they'd start moving.

He pocketed the tickets and receipt and headed to the other side of the bus to take the stairs to the roof and find his family, excited to be a tourist.

Chapter 83

In the morning Richie was woken up by Daniel's crying. He had slept so deeply himself that for a few seconds he was disorientated as well. He couldn't blame Daniel for being upset. With Sarah in mind, he quickly kissed her before telling her, "I'll get him. You get some more sleep."

As he got out of the bed, he remembered the cups of tea he had made last night and picked those up so he could refill them.

"Daddy's coming Daniel." He said as he walked out the room to meet Daniel crying. Gently he pulled the door closed behind him and put the mugs on the table before picking his son up out of the crib. "It's alright." Richie said soothingly, hoping he would calm down quickly.

The hotel room was large enough to be a one bedroom apartment. There was a couch with coffee table, chair and a large tv on a stand. A small kitchenette on the other side of the room and behind that a full bathroom, beside the ensuite they had with the bedroom. It was plenty large for the three of them during the weekend.

He carried Daniel to the kitchenette and found his diaper bag on the small table there.

After taking care of a wet diaper, Richie retrieved a bottle out of the bag and quickly made him some formula to warm up in the microwave. Luckily the hotel was fancy enough to provide a nice single serve coffee machine so Richie could make himself a cup of coffee as he made Daniel's milk.

Once both drinks were ready, he carried his cup of coffee to the coffee table. Richie turned on the tv as he sat down on the couch, he leaned back against the armrest with his legs stretched out on the couch. While Daniel held his own bottle, Richie sat him down on his lap so Daniel could lean back against his chest as he drank his milk. As soon as he found a tv show to watch, he reached for his coffee to sip from, enjoying a peaceful moment with his son.

His coffee was almost empty when he heard, "Good morning." He looked over to see Sarah in the doorway of their bedroom, wearing one of the tshirt he had given her last night and pj shorts. It made him smile how she looked beautiful so effortlessly.

She walked over and kissed him sweetly, making Daniel look up at what was happening. He let go of his empty bottle and reached for his mother when she finally looked over. Sarah picked him up and cuddled him.

"Guess I wasn't good enough." Richie commented as he reached to put the mug and bottle on the coffee table, clearing the couch of his legs so Sarah could sit down next to him.
"Don't be silly." Sarah told him as she sat on the couch. "He was perfectly happy with you."
"Until he saw you." He pointed out.
"He just likes his mom." Sarah scooted closer and snuggled into Richie's side, resting her head on his shoulder.
He loved being cuddled by his wife but right now it made him worry. "Are you feeling better this morning?" He asked.
As soon as he did, Sarah looked away towards the tv. "I'm fine."
Richie frowned, feeling bad for his wife but not knowing how to help her. "Do you want breakfast?" He asked eventually.
"Yeah." Sarah answered but kept her eyes on the tv.
"What would you like? We can probably get room service or we can go out or have someone bring us breakfast."
"I don't want to go out."

He frowned, he knew Sarah wanted to sightsee. She had always wanted to see everything. Right now wasn't the time she wanted she wanted to do anything, he understood that too but they were in Las Vegas, this was the place to see so much. It'd be a shame not to take that opportunity.

"We don't have to go anywhere. We'll get breakfast delivered to us."
"I want a bacon McMuffin."
"Okay." Richie said. "I'll get it brought up for you."

Right now he just wanted to help her through it as best as he could. If she needed some time, he could accept that. There would always be more time to see Las Vegas. He just had to support her.

"We could shower before breakfast." Richie suggested, thinking a shower would be a nice way to relax.
"I don't really feel like showering right now, besides, who would watch Daniel?"
She made a good point. "What about a bath then? You can relax, it's got jets and I'll get Daniel dressed and ready for breakfast."
Sarah looked over at him, considering the offer.
He could see right through her and see the sadness she felt, he could feel it. "It'll be nice. I'm sure there's bubble bath as well." He tried to convince her. "I'll go get it started." He got up from the couch and took Sarah not stopping him as a positive answer.

Once back in the main room, he picked up Daniel so Sarah could get up. "All ready for you. Nice and hot, medium about of bubbles." He winked knowingly.
Sarah gave him a weak smile. "Thanks."
He picked up his phone from the coffee table. "I'll get us breakfast."
"Thank you." Sarah said again as she reached in to kiss his cheek before going to the bathroom.

Chapter 82

"She lost the baby." He repeated as he walked into Jon's room, not waiting for the invitation. He headed straight past the bathroom and sat down on the couch with a sigh.

Stunned, Jon closed the door before joining his friend on the couch.

"What happened?" He asked.
Richie shrugged. "I don't know. She just got her period."
"Just like that?"
"I guess."
"Is she okay?" Jon asked concerned.
He nodded solemnly. "Yeah, she just wanted to be alone for a little bit."
"I'm sorry man." Jon padded his shoulder, trying to be helpful.
He know not much would comfort him right now. "Me too." Richie sighed, then sniffed.

Jon got up and walked to the bathroom, only to return a moment later with a box of tissues that he offered to Richie.

He took the box, pulled a tissue out and blew his nose. He used another one to wipe his eyes dry, before they welled up again.

Richie leaned back on the couch, still holding the tissue box in his hands.

"What if it's my fault?"
Jon frowned at him, confused at that statement. "How would that be your fault?"
"I don't know." Richie sighed frustrated. "Maybe she was stressed and I should have been home to take care of her?"
"Don't think that way." Jon told him.
"With Daniel she was in the hospital twice."
Jon looked at him. "That doesn't mean anything. These things happen. It's not anybody's fault." He said sternly, hoping Richie would listen to him.
"I guess." He sighed again.
"No guessing." Jon stated. "Fact."

They sat in silence for a while, which was okay for Richie. He wasn't too sure of what to say anymore. The sad feeling he was feeling was starting to settle down into acceptance and understanding perhaps.

"What if-"
"No what ifs." Jon cut him off.
Richie rolled his eyes. "But what if-" Jon started staring at him disapprovingly. "it's going to be the same as after Ava?"
He had to think about that, he didn't have an answer for that either. "You got Daniel eventually."  Jon said hopeful. "And then..." He didn't finish the sentence, surely Richie knew what he meant.
"Yeah but I'm only getting older."
"So are the rest of us." Jon said, not understanding where Richie was going with that thought. "What?"
Richie sighed a little frustrated with where he had brought the conversation now. "Well, counts decline when you get older. Low counts already, getting even lower."
"Sperm counts?" Jon asked. Then he shook his head. "No, I doubt it. You got Daniel and you're healthier, doesn't that make a difference?"
"I think so."
"Well then?" Jon asked. "I'm sure there's meds for kind of stuff anyway."
Richie shrugged. He knew for sure there was, he just didn't want to have to take them.
"Have you even told Sarah about any of this?"
He shook his head. "No, I thought about it but then we got Daniel."
"If you're worried about it, maybe you should." Jon suggested carefully.
Richie shook his head again.

Why had he even brought this up, this wasn't something he wanted to talk about. Ever. The silence came back for a minute or two. At least that topic was ended.

"It doesn't mean anything, you know?" Jon said carefully, not sure where his comment would take them.
"Sure." Richie responded somber.
"It doesn't." Jon said again.
"Okay."
"Then stop thinking it." Jon argued. "Does a vasectomy make me less of a man?"
"No, 'cause that's a choice."
"And? Much more useless than a low count."
Richie shook his head. "Doesn't matter, that's the point of a vasectomy."
Jon sighed, knowing this was going nowhere. "Just stop blaming yourself for things that aren't your fault. If you're worried about it, you need to talk to Sarah so she knows what's going on with you. She's not going to think any differently of you and you know that." He said sternly.

He sighed as he thought it over. Jon was right. He knew that too. If he did decide to tell Sarah about his issue, she would still love him just as much. It wouldn't change anything. The odds of the universe were just against them in many aspects.

"You're right." He finally said.
Jon nodded. "Yeah, I know I am. We all know how much she loves you so go back to your room, make her a cup of tea and console your wife."
In return, Richie nodded his agreement. "You're right." He repeated as he got up, putting the tissue box on the coffee table.

Chapter 81

Richie played through the next song, looking over to his right a few times to see if Sarah had come back but nothing yet.

She was probably just using the washroom or changing Daniel, he told himself.

The song ended and an accoustic song was up next so he needed to switch instruments.

"Where did Sarah go?" He asked his guitar technician as he took the guitar from him.
"I think she was going to the bathroom."
"Thanks." Richie said, hurrying back to his spot on stage to start the song.

Just as he thought, no big deal.

As soon as Tico played his first beats, Richie and David followed right away. He looked over at Jon who started the opening line.

The show was almost over, he knew that too. It was the last song before encores.

He wasn't worried, it was past Daniel's bedtime, maybe she just took him to the dressing room so he could sleep before they had to get on the plane after the concert. He had probably gotten fussy because he was tired.

At the end of the song Jon said good night to their crowd and left the stage. Richie followed him a moment later.

He watched Jon go in to his change room alone and stayed in the pathway with David, Tico and Hugh, all wiping their faces with towels and chugging their drinks afterwards before heading back to the stage, Jon would be the last to get onto the stage.

They played three encores to close off the show for real this time. It'd been a great show but Richie's feet were starting to hurt and he was ready to sit on a comfy couch or lay down in an even comfier bed.

As he left the stage, he took the towel that was being held out for him and started walking towards his dressing room, the guys right there with him.

"We need to be out of here in an hour to get to the airport and onto Vegas." Their roadmanager instructed them as he followed the band down the hall. All of them grumbled their responses. They'd be ready, they didn't need to be told. As he walked, he kept an eye out for Ava and Noah, they still had to get home tonight.

Ava had been faster than he had been to get to the dressing room. He found them both on the couch with Daniel.

"Hi dad." Ava smiled when he walked in. She had Daniel in her lap and was letting him watch a video on her phone. "Sarah's in the bathroom so we watched Daniel for you."
"Thanks." Richie said. "Are you guys ready to hit the road?"
"I suppose." Ava moved Daniel off her lap and stood up to give her dad a hug.
He hugged her tightly, knowing he wouldn't see her until Thanksgiving now. Sure it wasn't that long but still. "Drive safe." He told her. "Text me when you drop Noah off with grandma Abbey and text me when you get home."
"I will." She said, then reached up to kiss his cheek before she went to ask her phone from Daniel.
Richie turned to Noah, "Text us when you're home and say hi to grandma from us."
"I will."
"I'm sure she's excited to stay with you for a few weeks."
"I would have been fine on my own." Noah sounded a little annoyed.
Richie nodded. "We know that but it'd be a big empty house, this way you at least have someone home."
Noah shrugged.
"Ready to go." Ava announced before reaching in for another hug with her dad.

After the two teenagers walked out of the room, Richie sat down on the couch next to Daniel who was thoughtfully occupied by his toy. Too occupied to even look up. Richie picked him up to put on his lap and hugged him.

He was so happy to have his little boy with him for a few weeks. It would surely bring some fun to touring. He did the same as Ava had done and pulled out his phone to watch a video with Daniel as he got comfortable on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table.

"15 minutes til we leave." Came from the door after a loud knock.

Richie quickly checked the time on his phone. He was right, he'd been here for over half an hour, he'd lost track of time. Sarah was still in the bathroom. Once again, he moved Daniel, then walked over to the bathroom door and knocked quickly.

"Sarah?" He asked. "Are you okay?"
It took a few moments before her reply came. "Yeah."
"Alright. You've been in there for a long time."
"I know."

Richie shrugged it off and looked around the room for what needed to be packed up. Sarah's and Daniel's luggage had already been sent off, along with Daniel's carseat. He retrieved all of his belongings and put them into his bag. Then double checked Daniel's diaper bag and if he needed to be changed, which he didn't.

He walked back to the bathroom door and knocked again.
"Sarah?"
"I'm alright."
"Okay but I need you to open the door or I'm going to open it." He warned her.

He could hear scuffling inside and a few seconds later the door opened.

Sarah didn't look as okay as she said she was. Her face was flushed, her eyes were red bloodshot. She'd been crying. Hard.

"I- I..." Her eyes filled with tears as she started crying.
Richie quickly pulled her close to hug her, letting her cry for a moment. "What's wrong?" He finally asked, full of worry as to what would have upset his wife to crying her eyes out. "Please tell me." He asked when Sarah gave no reply. "I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong."
Sarah sighed and took a deep breathe but then just burried her face into his chest.
He gently rubbed her back. "It's going to be okay. Everything will be alright." He soothed.
She shook her head against him. "I got my period."
His heart sank, now feeling the same emotional pain Sarah was feeling. "It's going to be okay." He repeated again.

He could hear another loud knock on the door but ignored it.

He could tears well up in his own eyes, just as he had seen them with Sarah.

"Are you okay?" He asked, trying to blink his tears away. "Are you hurting? Do you need to see a doctor?"
Sarah shook her head again. "It's early on, doesn't need a doctor."
Richie nodded as he continued to hold her.

Another knock at the door. "We need to go!"

They gave it no attention and just held each other. He could feel Sarah relax in his arms, her sobs and sniffles had ended. His own tears had stopped as well. Softly, he kissed her head.

"I love you." He reminded her.
Sarah looked up at him, their red eyes meeting each other. "I love you too."

Another loud knock came from the door. "We're going to be late. You'll piss the boss off!"

He squeezed her in his arms for another tight hug. "I guess we should get going. Once we're in Vegas we can talk or sleep."
Sarah nodded.
"Are you going to be okay?" Richie asked gently. The last thing he wanted to do right now was rush his wife out of here. "I'm so sorry we're on a tight schedule tonight."
"I understand." Sarah wiped her eyes dry, making sure all the tears were gone. "I'll be fine. I... I just want to get to bed."
Richie nodded. He understood that.

This time the knocked turned into banging. "Sambora! Open this fucking door."

Sarah pulled back from their embrace. "Go." She said, she didn't want him to get in trouble either.

Richie turned around and went to open the door as Sarah gathered her things.

"About fucking time."
"Calm the fuck down." Richie said back. "We had a family matter going on."
"We're on a schedule, we should have left twenty minutes ago. The rest of the guys are already on their way to the airport. You're riding with Jon and he's pissed right off."
"He'll get over it."

Richie turned around, back to the couch to pick Daniel up, finding his phone had several missed calls and texts. He'd delete them later. He balanced Daniel on his hip as he picked up his bag and slung it over his other should. Then he reached for Sarah's hand. "Ready?" He asked gently.
She grabbed Daniel's diaper bag then took her husband's hand.

In silence they walked down the hallway that lead them to the exit where an SUV was parked outside, waiting for them. Richie pulled the door open and lifted Daniel into his car seat. He saw Jon lean around his seat in the front of the vehicle but Richie cut him off before he could even say anythin. "Not now, Jon. Let it be." He said sternly. He did not need to be yelled at right now. Jon cocked an eyebrow at him but turned back and waited.

The ride to the airport was just as quiet as their walk down the hallway.

On the plane Sarah and Richie sat in the back, finding solitude with the excuse of Daniel needing to sleep, which he eventually did.

It wasn't until they got to their hotel room that they spoke. There was a crib set up in the seperate living room and Daniel got comfy as soon as he laid down. They left the door to the bedroom open, just in case he woke up and found himself in a strange place.

As Sarah laid down on the bed, Richie went through their suitcases to find their toiletries and a tshirt he knew Sarah liked to sleep in. He brought it all to the bedroom.
"Do you want to get ready for bed?" He asked her, carefully sitting down beside her but Sarah didn't respond. "What can I do to help?" He asked instead.
"I think I just want to be alone for a little bit."
He nodded. Feeling hurt at her answer but also understanding she needed to process and probably cry in private. He just wanted to comfort and hold her close. Show her how much he loved her.
Instead, he nodded. He kissed her softly. "I love you." He said as he stood up again.
"I love you too."

He pulled the bedroom closed behind him, giving Sarah her privacy for now. He'd go back in there in half an hour or so. In the quiet his own mind caught up with him again, the reality of what had happened tonight. He couldn't believe it. He had been so happy and excited for another baby and just like that, it was all gone. It hurt him so much, he couldn't imagine how Sarah was feeling. How she could want to be alone. He needed someone.

He walked out of the room and knocked on the door across the hallway. He waited a few seconds but knocked again, he didn't care right now. The pain he felt was too much. He knocked again.

"Knock it off, I'm coming!"
He heard from inside and tried to compose himself before the door opened but quickly learned that was futile.
The door opened just as he could feel his eyes fill with tears again, his heart aching incredibly now that he was going to make it real by saying the words. "She lost the baby."

Chapter 80

Having Sarah watch soundcheck with Daniel made Richie immensely happy. Performing was something that made his soul happy and to have Sarah and Daniel watch him was even more special to him. They had found a small set of headphones to protect Daniel's hearing. At first he hadn't been impressed with having it on his head but had given up when his parents kept putting it back.

After soundcheck, Richie found her again behind the stage. He was glad she was confident enough to find her own way around now. Two years ago he wasn't able to leave her alone for a second but now she seemed just fine by herself with their son and he was glad for that. He would always want to take care of her and protect her but it made a difference that Sarah had her own courage.

"Did you get to talk to David yet?" Richie asked her as they walked by to the dressing room, David a few feet ahead of them.
"No. Why?" Sarah asked.
"He has great ideas for Daniel's birthday next week. He's been planning it all week. He's very excited." Richie explained to her.
"Oh." Sarah looked at Daniel as she carried him. "I didn't think we were doing anything big."
"Neither did I but David wanted to go all out so I figured if he wanted to do this..."
"I suppose." Sarah said. "What about what Daniel wants?"
Richie chuckled. "Not like he can really tell us."

Not much later David had indeed come down to Richie's dressing room to go over more details of the party he was planning. So far it all seemed very extravegant for a first birthday party. He had planned and color coordinated an entirely conference room including catering for the party.

Richie was almost glad to get a text from Noah that they were arriving soon and could get David out of his dressing room with an actual excuse he didn't have to make up.

"I'm so glad you're all here tonight." He said when Ava and Noah walked in a little while later.
"It's been so long since I've been here." Ava said.
"At the arena?" Noah asked confused.
"Just backstage in general." Ava shrugged.
"Well, I'm glad you're here." Richie repeated, "but lets get some catering cause I need to strenghten up before the show."
"You got it papa bear." Ava said, heading for the door.

Half an hour before showtime Ava pulled Noah with her to a good spot she wanted to show him. Excitedly she headed down the hallway while Noah tried to keep up with her.

"I don't know about her coming to Vegas tomorrow." Richie said to Sarah as they headed down the same hallway.
Sarah nodded. "I understand."
"She just gets so overwhelmed and starts panicking when something goes wrong. She'd be fine going with us but she's never actually flown by herself. She's always had me or Heather or mom with her."
"There's going to be other shows she can come to."
"There's only like a month left before Australia." Richie pointed out.
"I mean after this one. There'll be a new album, new tour. Maybe one during the summer so we can all join you again."

Richie contemplated it. He supposed Sarah was right and there would be another album soon enough. Yet, he didn't want to rush that. He was happy with his commitment now, that he hadn't thought that far ahead yet.

"Are you ready?" He heard Jon behind him as he padded his shoulder.
"Yeah, man." He said quickly before turning to Sarah. "I have to go. You'll find your way to the side stage?" He confirmed.
Sarah nodded. "I will." She bounced Daniel in her arms. "He'll love watching you along with the band."
"I'll be watching." Richie said surely. He always loved watching Daniel enjoy music. Everytime he was amazed how much such a young child could love music so much.

"Alright guys." Jon said as they huddled. "This is the West Coast, we're here to show them how much better the East Coast is. We got our drummer back so we will show them a good New Jersey rock show!"

It made Richie chuckle but he went along with it anyway and headed towards the stage.

Tico headed up the stairs first and sat down at his drums followed by loud cheers which cued David to get up to his keyboards. Hugh went on next, followed by Richie.

On the stage he took his guitar and joing in with Tico, David and Hugh. He looked over the crowd. He knew he wouldn't be able to spot Ava, he didn't exactly know where she was going to stand, as long as she was close to security.

To his right, behind the screens, on the stage, Sarah had found her spot. Richie knew she liked being closer to him than to be in the crowd. Right here, she was able to watch him without the pushing and shoving that could occur.

He felt more and more energized after each song they played. The show had been going great and he could see Sarah and Daniel enjoy the show next to him. Once, he even spotted Ava in front of the stage but she moved after the song had ended.

For their next song, he joined Jon at the microphone and was able to see the first couple of rows in the adience, the fans that had paid the big bucks. Richie enjoyed singing parts of songs with Jon now, especially during Wanted or his fan favorite, I'll Be There For You. He used to sing it alone during every show and now it was even more special to share the song.

When the song finished, he headed back to his designated spot on the stage's right but right away noticed Sarah was gone from her spot.