Chapter 114

He had only just started pacing past the vending machine when he already felt his phone vibrate in his hand. He stopped and quickly read it, then immediately went for the call button instead of texting back.

"Two seconds." He heard before he heard rustling over the phone, footsteps and a door closing. "What's going on? I literally just got into bed."
"I'm sorry man, I need to talk to someone." Richie looked around him, the hallways were empty, a seating area across from him.
"It's the middle of the night for you, what's happening?"
He walked over and sat down in one of the chairs, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "I'm at the ER with Noah." He sighed, letting that fact sink in again, "I just don't know."
"Know what?" Jon urged, trying to get some kind of answer that would make more sense to him. "You've got to give me something here man."
Richie took a deep breath, leaning back in his chair instead. "I got up 'cause I was hungry and I heard something down the hall, then noticed his light was still on. He sometimes reads all night so I went to go tell him to go to bed but he wasn't reading." He paused to sigh again.
"What was he doing?"
He took another deep breath, gathering his thoughts to continue, or maybe it was courage. "I found him in his bathroom with razor blades. He was bleeding pretty bad so I took him to the ER cause what the fuck do I do?"
"Oh fuck man. He was cutting himself?"
Richie nodded, then realized Jon wouldn't be able to see that. "Yeah."
"Is he alright?"
"The cuts, yeah. They've stitched it up but mentally, I don't have a fucking clue." He ran his free hand over his face, frustrated and confused at what was going on.
"I'm sorry man, he's going to be alright though. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I went to get us some snacks from a vending machine when I texted you. I should probably get back to him, don't want to leave him alone for too long I guess."
"Yeah."
"Fuck man, I knew he had issues but these kind of issues?" He started to feel angry about the situation they had ended up in tonight.
"There's no way you could have know." Jon pointed out, which Richie sort of agreed to, "You weren't even there til last night."
"That's just it." The anger built inside him. "I should have been here, maybe I would have known or would have been able to do something to prevent this shit."
He could hear Jon sigh on the other end of the line. "There's nothing you could have done to prevent it. You can't stop what's in his head."
Richie groaned, he made sense. "I know."
"So don't start blaming yourself. Being home or on the road, wouldn't have changed what goes around in your kid's head."
"But I would have been here to talk to him."
"Has he talked to you now then?" Jon countered quickly.
"No."
"He wouldn't have before either then."
"I know." Richie sighed, he knew his friend was right, nothing would have changed for Noah.
"So, go back to your kid and keep me updated on what happens."
"Alright." He sighed again but he did want to get back to Noah and see how he was doing. "I'll talk to you later."
"Alright, just call or text when you need to, okay?" Jon asked to make sure.
"Okay." Richie agreed before ending the call.

He sat up in his chair, putting his phone back into his pocket, looking ahead of him he remembered the vending machine he was supposed to get snacks from. With a sigh, he stood up and walked over to pick out something to eat for the both of them.

The hallway lead him back to the ER, a larger waiting room with a lot more people and sounds going on. Immediately, he felt the stress again.

"Richie." Noah said, panic in his voice as Richie walked back into the room.
"Yeah?" He asked as he dropped the bags of chips and granola bars on the bed, before passing Noah the bottle of Sprite he got him.
Noah accepted the bottle but didn't acknowledge it. "One of the nurses just said they're looking for a room for me."
"What?" He asked confused at what Noah meant.
"She said they're looking for a room for me." Noah repeated, which wasn't very explanatory.
Richie frowned for a second before cluing in. "They want you to stay here." He concluded, feeling even more sure of it when he watched Noah starting to shiver again.
"I don't want to stay." Noah said, his teeth started to chatter towards the end of his sentence.

He frowned in thought, understanding how Noah felt but understanding the nurse even more. Perhaps a hospital would be a safer environment for Noah. He'd be taken care of and most likely have someone to talk to.

"Mr. Sambora?" He heard from behind him, he looked over his shoulder to notice the nurse wanting to speak to him. "Can we talk privately for a moment?" She asked gently.
Richie nodded, turning back to Noah, "I'll be right back. You're okay." He reminded him again as he watched Noah's worry clear on his face before following the nurse out to the hallway, where Noah wouldn't be able to hear them as easily.
"We've found Noah a room upstairs. Your insurance covers private rooms and considering Noah's situation we went along with that."
He simply nodded, he didn't know what to say to that but it seemed fair. "He doesn't want to stay though."
"I know." The nurse agreed. "A 72 hour stay in required after any kind of self harm. We'll want to do a psych evaluation and just make sure he's really okay before we let him go home."
He nodded again, it just seemed fair to him. "That's probably a good idea." He agreed even though he didn't want to disappoint Noah and make him stay here while he didn't want to. It'd be better for him in the end. "He might have a panic attack before getting to a room though." He warned the nurse before heading back to Noah.

He walked back in with Noah alone, still clutching the Diet Coke he had gotten himself earlier. Finally he opened it and drank, although he was stalling what to tell Noah as he looked at him expectantly. At least he had stopped shivering for now.

He sat at the end of the bed, making Noah frown at him with worry, catching on to what was going to happen.

"So they got you a private room upstairs so you'll be alone." His tone was firmer than he wanted it to be but he wasn't going to beat around the bush with Noah, it'd be easier to be straight with him. Although it didn't hurt any less to see Noah's reaction as tears started to well up in his eyes. "They want you to stay for three days so you can talk to a psychiatrist and make sure you're alright."
"But I don't want to. I'm fine." Noah said, the tears weren't holding back as the shivers returned.
"This isn't fine Noah." Richie said sternly as he gently turned Noah's foot to show him the bandages on his ankle. "I'll go upstairs with you and get you settled but then I'm going home and tell your mom about this." He hated it but he also understood this was for the best. He moved over on the bed and pulled his son into a hug, ignoring the crinkling sound coming from the chip bags. "You're going to sleep and when you wake up, I'll be here or your mom will be here but I've got to go home so I can tell her." He could Noah sniff loudly on his shoulder and it hurt him even more to have to leave him but he didn't let go until he noticed Noah stopped shivering.

Slowly he pulled back from the hug to face Noah, his eyes the same shade of green just like his mother's, now all red and puffy from crying. He didn't need to ask to know his panic attack had passed.

Moving upstairs went easily as an orderly came down with a wheelchair to take Noah to his hospital room. Being only 17, they walked through the children's ward which reminded Richie way too much of the last times he had spent in the hospital. It wasn't the same here as at the children's hospital but the walls were still decorated in pleasant colors and cartoon figures that many children loved.

"Is this bed at least more comfortable?" Richie tried to lighten the mood once Noah had moved to the bed and the orderly had left them alone.
Noah simply shrugged in response.

Richie pulled a chair closer to the bed, just like in the children's hospital even the walls inside the room had some decals on the wall. The room was large enough to fit a couch by the wall, he was sure many parents had stayed the night here with their child. He wouldn't be able to do so tonight.

They both looked up when they heard a knock from the door, announcing her entrance, the nurse continued on into the room. She carried a cup of water along with a smaller container.

"I got you something to help you sleep, it's up to you if you want to take it though, it's past 5 now so getting some sleep would be a good idea." The nurse said gently as she placed it all on the small table next to the bed. "You've got an alarm button if there's anything you need urgently," she pointed it out to Noah, "but it's not a toy." She told him sternly. "Get some sleep and we'll see you in the morning." She said before walking out again.

He looked up at Noah wondering what he'd decide on but Noah stared down at his lap. "Noah?" He tried carefully, not wanting to cause any more panic attacks but he wanted Noah to go to sleep, for his own sake, to get some rest and maybe calm his mind but when Noah looked up at him, his words changed. "You know I love you, right?"
Noah nodded slowly. "Yeah." He said quietly.
"And you know I would never want you to hurt yourself, right?"
He looked away from him.
Richie didn't press it, he understood how Noah felt about what he had done now. Instead he continued, "I think if you take that," he pointed over at the side table, "it'll let your mind leave you alone so you can have a clear head and fall asleep." He could see how it sounded appealing to Noah. "I'll stay til you're asleep." He added on, hoping it would convince him.
Noah grabbed the little cup and looked at it. "I've never taken sleeping meds."
Richie leaned over in his chair, his arms resting on the bed. "Well, it's just going to let you relax. It's the same as falling asleep but you sleep better and get a much better sleep with it." He grabbed the bottle of Sprite he had bought earlier and opened it up to pass to Noah.
"Does it work fast?" Noah said after he swallowed the pill and drank his Sprite.
"It'll still take a while." Richie said. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you're asleep before I go." It felt strange to be looking at a 17 year old in front of him but feeling as if he was being as gentle and careful as he would be with a 7 year old.
"Mom's going to be mad."
Richie shook his head in disbelief. "I think she's going to be anything but mad." He saw the slight relief on Noah's face, sure the medication didn't work that fast. "She's going to be worried and scared for you about what happened and what's going on."
"I'm scared." Noah whispered.
"I know." Richie sighed, grabbing his hand and it giving it a squeeze in support. "I'm here."
Slowly Noah shook his head.
"What do you mean then?" Richie asked as he scooted a little closer again, not wanting to miss it if Noah whispered again.
Noah leaned back in the bed, seeming more comfortable when he did so. "Of everything."
"You don't need to be." He kept his voice gentle, wanting Noah to feel relaxed so he would go to sleep. "I'm always going to be here to help you."

He leaned back in his chair when he didn't get a response and let out a deep, shaky sigh.

He waited a few more minutes before standing up from his chair. He quickly padded his pockets, making sure he had his phone and keys, he found the ebook in his left pocket. Remembering why he had brought it in the first place, he pulled it out and placed it on the side table, sure Noah would find it there when he needed it. He looked back at the kid and for the first time really let himself feel the pain he was feeling tonight. Disbelief was still prevalent, that something like this would happen to Noah. That Noah would feel or think anything to make him want to hurt himself. His heart hurt at the thought of what kind of pain Noah must be in but right now he looked fairly peaceful as he slept. Noticing how much he looked like Sarah, he wiped his bangs out of his eyes even though they were closed. Right now, he seemed more fragile than Richie ever thought he had been, he knew he was more fragile than he had thought. He leaned over and kissed the top of his head, the same as he did whenever he laid Daniel in his crib to sleep. With regret, he finally walked out of the room.